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Unhappy freshman

13

Replies to: Unhappy freshman

  • ClassicRockerDadClassicRockerDad Registered Users Posts: 13
    edited May 2013
    I had a friend in HS transfer from Northwestern back to a school in NYC because

    "minus 87 degrees with the windchill does not support human life".

    What you can handle is all relative.

    Your D needs to make herself happy. HYP isn't cutting it. USC probably would - fer sure.

    Have her do one more semester at HYP and transfer back to USC in Jan, when we on the east coast are freezing our butts off.
  • ordinarylivesordinarylives Registered Users Posts: 24
    edited May 2013
    I've known several student who took leaves from the ivies and gone to community colleges. Eventually, they went back, but I believe it is called burnout. In other words, I don't find the talk of a cc weird at all. Her first choice is to transfer to USC. A second option is cc and then USC.
  • jonrijonri Registered Users Posts: 42
    edited May 2013
    I suspect the school is Yale rather than Princeton.

    Yale has sororities. They've been more popular in the past few years than they used to be, but members are decidedly in a minority and, frankly, a lot of Yalies write off anyone who goes near them. It's fairly easy to get to be a cheerleader because not all that many people want to be.

    I honestly can see why someone who enjoys sorority life and cheerleading might be less than thrilled to be at Yale. At other colleges, participating in those activities would increase your social status a lot more than doing them at Yale does.

    Having said that, your D should recognize that if she switches to a school like USC, she might not be able to be a cheerleader. I don't know how easy/hard it is to rush as a sophomore.
  • amarylandmomamarylandmom Registered Users Posts: 2 College Search & Selection Champion
    edited May 2013
    I agree completely with the posters who are in favor of transferring and feel this daughter has good reasons.

    My closest friend in college was from Southern California. Our college was fantastic - - a wonderful, top 10 liberal arts education in a fantastic northeastern city. She just was NOT happy. The weather was really hard on her. She stuck it out, but I can totally see how she probably would have been much happier had she transferred. I don't necessarily agree that your daughter is depressed, but she may just not like the northeastern culture and weather. Trust me, I lived in upstate NY for 20 years, and it wears on even the most tolerant. For those who aren't used to it - - the lack of sunlight and outdoors time can be very rough. I'd definitely encourage her to transfer to the very excellent USC and see how she does. Always time to see a counselor after that . . .and if she has to go to a CC for a little while to effect the transfer, I'd let her do that too.

    Also, I lived for three summers during my college years in the San Diego area and the people are very different . . .it's a warm and friendly culture. Northeasterners can be pretty cutthroat. I went to a lot of parties at Harvard . . .hmmm. . .I seriously doubt the vibe there is in any way, shape, or form comparable to USC.
  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus Registered Users Posts: 296
    edited May 2013
    I think many kids and parents underestimate the power of "fit" into the college decision.

    Many students and parents do not have the luxury of considering fit beyond the minimum of affordability and suitable academics. However, if the student can get into a super-selective school and has parents who can comfortably full-pay anywhere, such a student can be much pickier about fit than most can (although options become more restricted once the student has attended college and is now thinking of transferring).
  • HuntHunt Registered Users Posts: 153
    edited May 2013
    Jonri, Harvard and Princeton both have sororities now. But I think what you say would be true at any of the schools.
  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus Registered Users Posts: 296
    edited May 2013
    However, Princeton officially discourages affiliation with fraternities and sororities, and prohibits frosh from affiliating with them.

    Fraternities and Sororities at Princeton - Office of the President
  • idadidad Registered Users Posts: 1
    edited May 2013
    Friend's daughter had similar experience. Disliked elite college and much to Mom's dismay transferred to state flagship, was happy as a clam. Ended up at Harvard for grad school. Sometimes the kids actually get it right.
  • Data10Data10 Registered Users Posts: 28 College Search & Selection Champion
    edited May 2013
    Based on what was written in the original post, it sounds more like the HYP school was not a good fit, rather than anything related to depression or something you'd see a psychologist about. Getting good grades and actively participating in ECs certainly does not mean the college is a good fit. You said she is looking for better social life, better greek system, better sports and school spirit and better sun; which are certainly not unique reasons for preferring one college to another. If she is indeed interested in being a film producer, USC has one of the best film schools in the world.

    If you want to balance prestige with sun, sports, and school spirit; Stanford may be a better a fit than HYP. It has highly ranked division 1 programs, winning several national championships most years. The football team has gone to a BCS bowl each of the past 3 years. It also has a good marketing programming (another possible career she mentioned), ranked above HYP. However, it doesn't have the degree of greek life that she'd find at USC.
  • moonchildmoonchild Registered Users Posts: 62
    edited May 2013
    ^^^^It's also a much harder admit, especially for a transfer student. USC takes a lot of transfers from CCs every year. Stanford doesn't.
  • Data10Data10 Registered Users Posts: 28 College Search & Selection Champion
    edited May 2013
    Yes it's more selective school, with an admit rate of under 5% for transfer students. However, it's not beyond the realm of possibility for a student with a 3.8 GPA at a top university with good ECs that she is passionate about (cheerleader, participating in plays). The transfer thread of this forum includes admits with worse stats.
  • MarsianMarsian Registered Users Posts: 6
    edited May 2013
    Based on what was written in the original post, it sounds more like the HYP school was not a good fit, rather than anything related to depression or something you'd see a psychologist about.

    I'm someone who would absolutely recommend therapy if needed, and I agree. The student sounds like she is bright and capable but is just unhappy being at that school in that part of the country. Not being happy going to HYP isn't a condition that requires psychological intervention.

    I know a student who went off to one of the HYP schools, made great grades, and joined campus organizations. However, she never felt that she fit in socially. After her freshman year, she came back home to North Carolina, went to community college for another year, and graduated from a state university. She is very well-adjusted, she has a good job, and she enjoyed her three years at CC and at her university. Good for her for admitting early on that she needed to go in another direction.
  • tptshortytptshorty Registered Users Posts: 4
    edited May 2013
    Before she leaves her Ivy League U, she should do some research. She shouldn't assume she can tranfer into USC's film/television program. It is HIGHLY competitive. For that matter, so is UCLA's, perhaps even more so. I don't know if they even take transfers. And I wouldn't diss either one. They both have highly successful graduates and provide lots of connections. My daughter was an intern in human resources at a major television studio where the staff were Bruins, and they favored the applicants from UCLA. I'm sure USC alumni do the same. She could try Chapman University, which is in Orange County- it also has a film program but is less competitive.
  • katliamomkatliamom Registered Users Posts: 24 Harvard Champion
    edited May 2013
    If your daughter is at H, she should know that tons of very highly successful Hollywood types studied at H. Having the H connection would open a lot of doors.
  • ariesathenaariesathena Registered Users Posts: 34
    edited May 2013
    Was very active and involved including cheerleading for football and basketball, multiple plays/musicals/productions, and easy paid work which allowed studying with a great hourly pay rate. Kept a GPA at around 3.8.
    I don't think that your D will be able to do that and maintain an active social life at any school - or at least any school that would be a good academic fit for someone who is at HYP right now. Changing universities won't change the underlying issue that you can't be a straight-A student, cheerleader, actress, AND social butterfly, all while working, too. Period.

    Isn't there some book out about pushing young girls to be perfect overachievers?
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