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Advice requested

behindthecurvebehindthecurve 0 replies1 discussionsRegistered User Forum Champion
My 26-year-old son flunked out of a strong computer science program with 3 hours remaining to complete his degree. He has some aspergers-like issues and also some strong executive dysfunction. His primary problem is that nothing motivates him for long--he doesn't care about making/keeping friends, making money, grades, even getting new electronic toys (keeps the same old phone and computer equipment even though he spends all day on the computer). He lives on $6-$8 a day by eating one fast-food meal a day so that he can stretch what little money he has. He says therapists just aren't helping him although he has been to some capable folks; he's also lived at home for periods with no better results even though he was eating better and having more social support. He really doesn't care about leaving his apartment. We're forcing the issue and are no longer helping him financially, but he just avoids thinking about dealing with his issues and is apparently waiting for the apartment complex to evict him. He doesn't respond to our concern about him and shuts out the difficulty this causes us the same way he shuts out all the other consequences he creates for himself. Despite all this, he's super pleasant, "likeable," has a great sense of humor and our family loves his company. Does anyone have any insight, experience, and/or advice with something like this? We would love to send him to some type of facility for extended treatment; we are concerned that he is going to have a totally dysfunctional and dependent life despite his intellect and his personality outside of these issues. Apologies if there is already a similar thread; this seems like a great forum but I just have limited time and would definitely appreciate any help from anyone.
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Post edited by behindthecurve on
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Replies to: Advice requested

  • higgins2013higgins2013 20 replies1 discussionsRegistered User New Member
    BC: Has your son ever had neuropsych evaluation to determine whether he's LD conditions and/or confirmed Aspergers diagnosis? I'd recommend that you and your son first determine via formal diagnoses whether there are underlying issues that are affecting his academic performance and life skills. If he's "delayed maturity", that one issue; if he in fact has Aspergers/Autistic Spectrum diagnosis and/or LD issues such as Executive Functioning problems, then he faces lifelong challenges that should be constructively addressed to help him navigate adult life. "Tough love" approach won't help him cope. Explicit instruction and counselling may, if he's receptive and cooperative. (Also note that "high-functioning" people w/Aspergers often develop habits, automatic response patterns, to specific situations, so the "I don't like to do this, so I won't do it very well" is a common Aspergerian response to disliked tasks.) Best wishes.
    edited May 2013
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  • calla1calla1 27 replies0 discussionsRegistered User New Member
    I agree that a thorough neuropsych evaluation would be helpful. It's so important to see what it is you are dealing with, because the interventions will vary depending on the diagnosis. We did this with both of our sons and frankly, it was worth the money despite the sticker shock. DS2, in particular, had an unexpected diagnosis (among others) of OCD (atypical symptoms) that we would never have caught without the testing but which was key to his functioning.
    edited May 2013
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